Interpersonal Relations



Rather than telling an associate, "You look good in that suit," tell the person, "That suit looks good on you." - Dale Carneigie


You should be suspicious of someone who nods and speaks in the affirmative, but has their arms crossed. - Dale Carnegie


Sandwich every bit of criticism between two heavy layers of praise. - Mary Kay Ash

Counter Rule: If someone is truly underperforming, don't sugarcoat it. Be direct. - Ben Casnocha


If you're interested in obtaining something from someone else, always preface your request with "I have a favor to ask you" as people hate turning down favors. - N. Bruce Ashwill


Don't cut off the early chatter and small talk of a new group -- the tendency of people to tell stories that seem irrelevant is part of the process of group integration. Don't interrupt them as irrelevancies which must be suppressed. - Harold Leavitt


You will always be associated with what you rebel against. Don't rebel against what you hate, since it will stick to your name. - Ruben Meulenberg


When you win a useless discussion, you still lost. - Ruben Meulenberg


At least 85% of your job is effective communication with the people you work with. Objectives, plans, and ideas are worthless unless everyone involved understands them well enough to take action. - Josh Kaufman


Remember:  The person you are talking to is always more important than the point you are trying to make.  - Jimmy Parsons


If you need someone to write a letter on your behalf, write it for them. It's easier for them, and you have more control over what they say if you give them a finished draft.


Never, ever, ever pay compliments that contain comparatives (e.g. "than").


It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his job depends on not understanding it. - Upton Sinclair


Face saving rule #853: try to attribute your errors to "irony" where possible. Even if it's not irony, call it so anyway, and then claim second-order irony in that you called it irony when it wasn't (e.g., the Alanis Morissette song "Ironic").  Now the other party is too confused to argue. -- Dave Jilk